Timing It: How Often Should You See Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

You don’t want to appear too keen but you want to be with them all the time! How often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend to get it right?

You’re young, you’re in love, you can’t bear to be away from your new boyfriend or girlfriend for more than a second. Does this sound familiar? It’s a wonderful feeling, but it’s also a confusing time too. You don’t want to appear too keen, but you want to spend as much time with them as possible. So, how often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend to hit the balance between having your own independence versus being a little too clingy?

We often think that we need to adhere to an invisible set of guidelines or rules when it comes to knowing how often should to see boyfriends and girlfriends. We think we should do certain things by certain times, and say specific words by certain times. Basically tick relationship milestones off, almost as if we’re ticking tasks off our daily to-do list.

The truth is real relationships don’t work like that. Throw out the so-called rule book. Instead, focus on what feels right to you!

Why relationship milestones don’t really exist

For starters, every single person on this planet is different, and that means when two people join forces, their situation is never going to be the same as anyone else’s. In that case, how can you tell a couple that they should be hitting this milestone by that time, or this milestone by another time? [Read: Relationship milestones – 15 dating highlights you should be proud of]

In addition, relationships are not a series of boxes to be ticked off a list. There is a lot to be said for simply going with the flow. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in the relationship]

The so-called milestones include: exclusive by a certain time, going Insta-official, meeting friends, meeting family, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having children. What if you don’t want to get married? Maybe you’re perfectly happy living the way you are or what if you don’t want to have children? What if you have them earlier than people say you’re “supposed” to?

None of it matters. All that matters is that the pace your relationship is moving at is comfortable for the two of you.

Forget comparing your relationship to anyone else’s

The other major issue is comparing your relationship to someone else’s, perhaps a friend or someone you’ve grown close to on social media. We’ve all seen it – there’s that one couple that are total oversharers on Instagram and post about literally everything. They look oh-so-happy and everything seems perfect. It simply makes everyone else feel bad that they’re not 100% all over each other all the time.

When you compare your relationship to someone else’s, whether it’s how often you should see each other or how happy you are, you’re just comparing it to a lie.

Everyone is different and if you’re smart, you should never believe everything viite you see on social media. All that will happen is you start to resent how slow your relationship is going and you’ll start to force things that don’t feel natural. That’s not going to end well. [Read: 5 easy ways to stop comparing your new guy to your ex]

So, how often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Another question which people ask and think there should be a set answer to is ‘how often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend?’